Blog 4

Detail from 'Map of the World' 

I have been drawing 'into' my map of the world. The distinctive shapes of each land mass have disappeared; the map of the world is disappearing.

I am working using my embossing pen and no ink, just pushing into the paper hundreds of lines, contours, across the page. I call it my invisible drawing for I can't see what I'm doing, only close up, but not as whole piece. I have to fill the whole sheet of paper, can't leave any gaps or spaces.

I work outside as it is sunny and hot. The bright light of the sun on white paper is even worse for seeing with - a curse or an addition - an additional medium to play with?

I can hear the sheep's bells ringing round their necks in the distance, the occasional cars driving past, the flies that keep touching my legs and landing on my paper. They will become part of my work if they are not careful... There are a whole new set of circumstances working outside - noise, light (and shadow), distractions. Not bad ones, I know. But an addition to the drawing process.

There is a sense of perception with my drawing. The Phenomenology of Perception by Merleau-Ponty is by my bed, but it is just too taxing at the moment to start reading.

The idea of 'colouring in' the drawing with graphite pencil has been playing on mind for days and I eventually set to, blackening the whole art work. The white lines from the embossing pen are highlighted. I can now see what I have drawn.

Whilst embossing as a 'white' drawing, the work was contemplative, calm, meditative, thoughtful, rhythmic, and there's that moment when you want to take leave and start to destroy; or take action, get more physical and dirty. You know that moment is going to happen, but you don't know when.

It felt good to 'blacken' the work, but now I question if it looks better or worse. Will it be a heading for the rubbish bin?

I leave the work alone, create some distance. The drawing is sitting there, unfinished, waiting.

I think about Richard Serra's Verb List (1967/68).

At college, the tutors would insist you keep working into the work, whether you felt it needed it or not. And I must.

I feel I'm going round in circles, but I must keep trying, keep pushing forward with my drawing. For doing something is better than doing nothing at all.