Blog 36

In my ever de-cluttering mode I have been looking at my notebooks from the last two years and wondering if I should get rid of them. They are full of handwritten one liners, newspaper and magazine clippings, sticky post-it notes and paraphernalia. Have they been useful? Yes, as I realised when I looked back at them.

I am about to do an interview which will reflect on the experience of my solo show at An Tobar Arts Centre and the year long project it took leading up to the exhibition. I certainly feel more in control with my work. My approach is more considered and I feel more confident. There is a shift and I have taken a step forward even if it is not necessarily massive. When I look back at my notebook entries they seem unsure of themselves much more at the beginning than they do now.

I am piercing paper again. There is so much more that could be done.

I am thinking more along the lines of the sculptural qualities of paper, both on it's surface and now more directly as a 3 dimensional object. For example, depending which way you fold a piece of paper depends then on which way the fold line is raised on the paper surface. Which way should pierced holes be presented - flat side up, or tear side showing? The angle or slant of the pierced holes you are making create different surface patterns. What is the relationship between a folded line and it's neighbouring pierced holes? There are many questions.

I am thinking about scale and starting to consider working in series. This will take time, and I need to think about how repetition operates within my making, as a continuous process or in blocks of pattern or motion.

I went on a book making course last month on the island of Iona which was lovely and I met some very nice people all who wanted to create books for various different reasons. I'm still not sure I want to make books per se but certainly use the connotations of what books are about, their structure, shape, content etc. as influences in my work. As you will gather I have been paper folding, and stitching, folding and joining paper together - paper, holes, thread.

One of my notebook entries from the last two years writes "... state of homelessness to one of domesticity". I have been living in one place for over a year now, but am curious as I have little idea in what context this was originally written. We keep a clean and tidy home here but house keeping is not my main activity in life. When I think about the sentence, I'm starting to wonder if for me, my making has become my form of 'domestic'? Before it has often been paraphrased as a displacement activity, "something to pick up and put down", "something physical and practical to do", I quote.

My de-cluttering objective still exists but there is more of a sense of a re-use, re-cycle, make (do) and mend feeling. I still aim to get rid of the unnecessary 'clutter' in my life though, that doesn't stop.

Many articles are written about immaterial labour and that we as a society work (generally) in a service industry. Manufacturing and manual labour is on the down turn and the power that making things has for the human, either as a job or recreation is no longer high on the list within our lifestyles. Am I responding, with my choices in life and method of making, to what is happening in our culture?

I continue to question what is the role of the artist in society and I have had two interesting comments lately that could answer some of this. One was during my show when a gentlemen, being in the gallery with my work, realized the importance of process (through seeing me making) in his work and that it is not necessarily the end result that always matters. I think he worked in social services.

Secondly, and more recently, I had a chat with a stranger who had never thought about why someone is an artist. From our conversation it seemed to enlighten them. They had never actually thought about why someone would want to be an artist. We spoke about looking, feeling, being and questioning the world, whether it is on a personal or public, local or global scale.

As I continue to make, I've been thinking about the oscillation with my work between it's usefulness and it's uselessness, yet both stance have their merits, having value, balancing one another out intermittently.